B00bs Trouble! These are 21 Problems Only Women with Big B.reasts will Understand

Even though many women love to be
identified with large B00bs, there are certain
inconveniences that having big B.reasts can
bring.
file photo
1. You can’t wear B.utton down shirts because
the B.uttons gape open and you basically look
semi-Nakked. One time I realized this was
happening 30 minutes into a work meeting.
It’s like having spinach in your teeth, but
B00bs.
2. It’s impossible to find cute bras that fit. All
the lacy balconette bras Victoria’s Secret
models wear? Look away — because YOU get a
giant grandma support bra with two-inch-wide
beige straps.
3. No bathing suits fit. Ever. Not one pieces,
not two pieces, not red pieces, not blue pieces.
4. People (even those who don’t know you
well!) say things to you (even in casual
conversation!) like, "Have you ever thought
about getting a B.reast reduction?" No, have
you ever thought about getting a nose job?
Maybe you could at least turn around and go
check your nosiness at the door, then?
5. People ask you if your back hurts. While I
realize this is an issue for some women, it’s
weird when people assume that something I
actually like about my body is a disability.
6. Everyday exercises are basically not
possible. There is thismuch space between my
B00bs and the floor during a push-up.
7. You have to wear more than one sports bra
if you’re going to attempt to work out.
Sometimes two, sometimes — UGH — three.
Sometimes you wish you could temporarily
mummify your B00bs just for your workouts.
8. You automatically look $exual in everything
you wear. Your average American Eagle V-neck
or henley looks cute and casual on medium-
and small-busted girls but inevitably looks like
some "da club" outfit on you.
9. You look especially $exual in bathing suits.
There is soooo much cleavage. Even in a one-
piece bathing suit you look like you’re trying to
get cast in the Hooters calendar.
10. People ask what size bra you are. Both
men and women. This is weird and rude. I
don’t go around asking you how much you,
like, weigh.
11. Guys pay too much attention to your
B00bs in bed, as if assuming that big B00bs
automatically equate to "extremely sensitive
clitoris-like pleasure appendages." Not true.
12. You are constantly bothered by dressing
advice for "curvy" figures because the advice is
always bullSh!t. Like that thing about belting
things at the waist? You look like you’re
presenting your B00bs on a platter.
13. You can never wear anything backless.
You basically cry while watching the Oscars
red carpet, jealous of all the side boob you will
never flaunt.
14. You can’t wear any bridesmaids dresses
because they’re ALWAYS strapless. Damn you
brides and your strapless dress leanings.
DAMN YOU.
15. You can’t wear blazers. Because they all
gape open at the bottom so that your torso
looks like a big bell. That cliché work advice
about just throwing on a blazer over your dress
for your job interview is, to you, fake.
16. You can only wear bib necklaces. Because
long ones dangle off the precipice of your
B00bs like a cat toy.
17. Cross body bags awkwardly snuggle up to
your armpit. Like you’re nursing a baby.
18. You look positively beastly if you’re cut off
mid-boob in a photo.
19. You feel special kinship with Kate Upton.
She can go right on with her busty self.
20. You always wonder what Christina
Hendricks has going on underneath her
clothes. Because her rack defies all big boob
physics, as you — one owner of big B00bs —
has come to understand them.
21. You are horrified of the idea of being
pregnant because even though you love your
big B00bs, they are big enough.
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– Cosmopolitan